Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Sad Days

Today was mom's birthday, the second most difficult day of the year, right behind Mother's Day.
I thought about mom first thing when I got up this morning -- it is easy to remember what day of the month it is when you count every day of the month every morning in kindergarten. I was in class for an hour, then Barb came to fill in while I went to play sweet Norma's funeral.

Sometimes I can make it through a whole funeral without crying. And today, I was fine for awhile, but then Father Scott started his lovely homily, based on the 23rd Psalm, and I turned into a weepy mess, as the 23rd Psalm was mom's favorite.

Sometime in her cancer treatment, she had to have an MRI. She was very claustrophobic, and told us that the only way she got through that was to recite the 23rd Psalm and the Lord's Prayer to herself. All I could think of was my sweet mom, scared of the MRI, scared of the cancer, saying the Psalm.

This picture is one of my favorites -- a snapshot from a boat trip with the Heckmans in 1960. This is how I would like to imagine them now in heaven -- mom not scared of the water, not scared of anything, and dad just happy to be with her. Before miscarriages and fires, losing farms and losing family, cancer and Alzheimer's. Happy and together.


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