Saturday, October 10, 2009

My Prayers

Yesterday, I sat through one of the most beautiful funeral masses ever. Five caring priests on the altar. My dear friends playing and singing.

But I didn't pray. And I couldn't sing.

I tried again last night without success. And this morning, I still have that empty feeling, like I will never pray, sing or be truly happy ever again. Clay tells me I will. And I believe him, I think.

But I thought I should start on my thankfulness list, for when God and I are on speaking terms again:


Angie's handmade rosaries, a gift from my biggest fan.


Holly and Justin's talents.

Karma.


Jim Gerth's words of comfort. One of the things I wanted most this week was my mom and dad. Jim filled that achy void a little for me.


Timing.

Kindergartener's hugs. Man, did I miss them this week. I think they were all supposed to be silently going back to the classroom when I saw them, and I hope they didn't get into trouble for jumping out of line.


The Coons Women and their compatriot, Will.


Mr. Prout, who told me I would never withstand the competition at music school at IU, which convinced me to go to Purdue. Perhaps if I had gone to IU, I would have met a man like Clay and friends like the Crew, but I doubt it.


Friends who surprise you by their actions. People you didn't realize were your friends.


Miko.


Peace.

4 comments:

  1. Oh sweetie! Your blog always makes me cry!
    My thoughts and prayers are with you everyday.
    Heal and grieve as you can. Please don't rush it. We all have our own schedule.

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  2. I love you Georgiann...just thought I should let you know!

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  3. He will always be there for you.....The healing process is a slow and hard process.. but remember he is with you, and even though at this time in your life you might doubt it, he is beside you and even carrying you.. He grieves with you even as he holds your loved one in his arms!

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  4. Such strength you have. It shows in this post, to already be looking for - and finding - the positives, even when they feel the most distant and, sometimes, meaningless. Keep holding onto those, and the rest will fill in over time.

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