I ask you. Have I gotten myself into more than I can handle? Right now, I have missed two meetings -- church music and after prom -- because I have been on the phone for the last hour trying to get answers and put out fires. And I am not good at this. At all. At least, I feel like I'm not good at it. Clay says I can handle it, and people look to me for answers and calm. Maybe I can give them answers and calm, but why do I then feel so messed up, discombobulated and a little icky?
Then, I read this on kind over matter (see the button to the left) a few minutes ago, and knew it was a sign from God, or fairies or the bloggy powers that be:
We are all trying to do our best
Sometimes we don't know how, and sometimes we make a mess of it. But most of the time, isn't that true?
So, after the whining earlier this week (sorry about that!), I decided to get busy on a project. I wanted to make a fantastic raffle item for my friend Carie's state meeting. After my good luck with Red Riding Hood and her pals (here), I thought it would be fun to try to design nativity figures based on the same pattern. So, here is my first figure -- Mary: I know. She's a little squat, her veil is a bit long and baby Jesus looks like a peanut. Hmmm.
I've already cast on for Joseph, but I'm not so sure this is what I am going to contribute; I might try to whip up something better this weekend and keep this squatty little nativity.
I've had this set done for a few weeks, and meant to deliver it to baby Lucas before Easter: The sweater is the Mason Dixon baby kimono, modified -- I didn't knit the sleeves with the body. Basically, I knit a one-piece vest and picked up the sleeve stitches. I made the cuffs a little wider, too. The hat is the Umbilical Cord hat from Stitch and Bitch, and the booties are from a free pattern I picked up at Michael's. The yarn is Bernat Baby Jaquard, in blue this time.
I shared a beautiful baby blanket pattern with my pals at Knit Night this evening, but it will have to wait -- I have a lovely first communion dress to finish altering, a 2,000 word paper to edit and a musical program to pull together -- any ideas on how to entertain a room full of Daughters of Isabella?
What's wrong with me? Spring has sprung, it's beautiful outside. We had a wonderful Easter. My family is well, my dog is feeling better. But I'm just not excited. Not motivated to do too much of anything. Knit, blog, cook, read. So, here's something I found that I am going to focus on this week.
Life is an opportunity, benefit from it. Life is beauty, admire it. Life is bliss, taste it. Life is a dream, realize it. Life is a challenge, meet it. Life is a duty, complete it. Life is a game, play it. Life is a promise, fulfill it. Life is sorrow, overcome it. Life is a song, sing it. Life is a struggle, accept it. Life is a tragedy, confront it. Life is an adventure, dare it. Life is luck, make it. Life is too precious, do not destroy it. Life is life, fight for it.
I am famous (in my bedroom, anyway) for having the most outrageous dreams.
Last night, I dreamed I was back at Purdue, hanging out in the lobby of Meredith and had to go to the bathroom; all I could find was a men's room. So, I went to my dorm room, which was big and modern, and in which I roomed with my real-life friend, Angie, and my real-life cousin, Elisa. We all had our own TVs and huge bookcases. Unfortunately, the girl who had lived there before me, Stacey Hawkins from Seymour, Indiana (who I do not know in real life, if she even exists -- I read her name inside of one of her textbooks) did not remove any of her things from the room. I just didn't know what to do; class was starting any minute, and I didn't have my schedule. I woke up in a panic, as I do from most of my dreams.
Usually, my dreams are very, very scary. Last week, we (random people I didn't know) were eating dinner in the basement of my parents' house when we looked out the windows and saw burning debris falling from the sky. We all went outside to see what was going on, and watched as many burning planes were crashing into skyscrapers. Then we had to hurry inside, because Big Brother was watching. Someone actually said that. "Hurry in! Big Brother is watching!"
But mostly, aside from the Big Brother dream and the Purdue dream, my dreams are in recurring themes. Three themes, to be exact.
Theme one: driving off of an interstate ramp at an alarmingly high rate of speed into oblivion. Or, into an ocean. A few weeks ago, this dream took on a Purdue motif, as the ramp I was travelling on at an alarmingly high rate of speed went right past the Triple XXX. And into oblivion. I should have know this was a dream, for anyone who has been in WLafayette knows that area is incredibly congested -- no oblivion for miles. And, no interstate ramps. But I woke up scared and sweaty, regardless.
Theme two: tornadoes. Watching them, running from them, being swept up in them. That's all I can bear to say about that.
Theme three: This may be TMI, but this is my blog, so deal with it. Until recently (when pre-menopause came to stay for a visit) I would dream about getting my period the night before my period. Every month. Like clockwork. I thought this was absolutely fascinating -- the mind/body connection and all, and mentioned it to my doctor. I was sure he would want to study this further and write it up for a medical journal. Instead, he said, "Huh."
But I guess it would be hard to prove the connection, as I could be lying about my period dreams, and that's not so good for medical research.
I could be lying about all these dreams, couldn't I? Just to have something to blog about. Because people are starting to harass me about not blogging.
Well, not harass, just ask. And only two people, really. Very nice people who I hate to disappoint. So here's my blog post. I'm not lying, I promise.
17. Well, 17 plus 3 days -- it's hard to find a day when everyone can come for supper. We had such a nice time together, though.
Will (and the rest of us) loves the movie, "Up"; he had watched it on the bus on the way to Kansas City for NCYC in November. He told Clay and me that we would love it, and he was so right. We gave him a Dug dog (just like Sarah L's!) for Valentine's Day, and I wanted to surprise him with a special cake -- it's been so long since I decorated and nice cake for him -- I think the last one might have been a motocross cake when he was 11 or so. Sad.
Yeah, this cake was not at all as I had pictured in my head. Double sad. I had thought and thought and thought about this for a couple of weeks, and knew just what I wanted to do. First, I had a disaster with the baking -- the first two cakes I baked were flat and icky. So, Clay baked two more for me. They were perfect. I sliced each layer in half and filled them with Nutellabuttercream. Oh. my. gosh. Is that ever good. I just used the ATK recipe (beat 2 1/2 sticks of softened butter together with 2 1/2 cups powdered sugar for 4 minutes or so, add 2 T. cream, 1 t. vanilla and a pinch of salt and beat a little more) and added a 1/2 jar of Nutella.
Then I started carving and decorating, and I don't really know where I went wrong, but it went all wonky very quickly, and there was no saving it as the clock was ticking down toward party time. Even sweet, kind, loving Clay, who would never ever hurt my feelings, said it "Wasn't my best effort."
Crap.
But Will was happy, and I guess really, that's all that matters.
Everything looked so pretty today, I had to take a few pictures on my way to being late to school. 
I know. She's a little squat, her veil is a bit long and baby Jesus looks like a peanut. 
The sweater is the Mason Dixon baby kimono, modified -- I didn't knit the sleeves with the body. Basically, I knit a one-piece vest and picked up the sleeve stitches. I made the cuffs a little wider, too. The hat is the Umbilical Cord hat from Stitch and Bitch, and the booties are from a free pattern I picked up at Michael's. The yarn is 
17. Well, 17 plus 3 days -- it's hard to find a day when everyone can come for supper. We had such a nice time together, though.